MY STORY: 2013
POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST:
April
12th, 2013 we finally got the happy news we’d been waiting for-a
positive pregnancy test! I’ve always had a very regular cycle so when my period
was a week late I started to suspect that it might be what we were hoping for!
I took the 1st test in the morning and very quickly it turned positive!
I had a hard time believing it...So, since I had several packages with tests I
ended up taking a few more...5 to be exact!! :) Ha-ha...yeah...don’t really
know what to say about that, but that’s how it was! And as if that wasn’t
enough...after that I went to the store and bought a super expensive digital
test just to make sure. Well, after 6 tests I felt pretty confident that the
plus was actually a plus! WE WERE PREGNANT! I was so happy...ecstatic...I couldn’t
sit still or get anything done the rest of the day, waiting for Micke to come
home from work...
When
I told him he was sooo happy & excited..and a little scared of course...we
were going to be parents...
BEING A SMOKER:
At
this time, I was still a smoker...Definitely not the best decision I’ve made in
my life starting to smoke at the age of 22...but that’s how it was! I wouldn’t
call myself a huge smoker, as I never smoked during the work day which made up
about 8hrs of the day...but still, a smoker nonetheless! I had always promised
myself (and my baby) that the day I found out that I was pregnant I would stop
smoking, and I was determined to keep this promise..For both of us! So after
the positive test on the 12th, I smoked 1 cigarette. Under the next
2 days I smoked 1/day and on the 4th day, April 15th, I
took my last cigarette! (And I’m happy to say, that it’s STILL my last one! )
Moving
on....
FIRST VISIT TO THE OBGYN!
We
got our first appointment to the obgyn a week after the test. I had already
started feeling super nauseous and extremely constipated. I had a burning
sensation over my ovaries and felt sooo swollen… The obgyn said that was all
totally normal, especially the constipation....we received a lot of helpful and
useful information and we booked a time for our 1st ultrasound. We
received a book about being pregnant and some helpful hints about what to eat
and not to eat, which was extremely important to me since I don’t eat meat
products...I wanted to make sure the baby would be receiving enough nutrients. We
went home feeling extremely good & excited after our first visit...I
started reading the book that night...it was a wonderful feeling reading about
all the awesome things that were to come in the months ahead...
The
next couple of days were uneventful. I was enjoying knowing I was pregnant and
we started talking about the future and making plans for our upcoming life with
our baby! I was feeling extremely tired and had some pain in my lower abdomen,
but no bleeding or other alarming symptoms. We had decided not to tell anyone
that I was pregnant and keeping that a secret was SOOO hard! ..Especially from
my family....honestly, I felt like I was going to explode with happiness and I
wanted to share that with everyone...my family, friends, colleagues....well,
everyone!!!
On
Monday April 22nd, we were having dinner…nothing out of the ordinary
or any new food…Almost immediately after we were done eating I felt this super
sharp pain in my stomach..Not in the lower part, but more in the epigastric
region (in the middle of the chest just below my breasts...) it was a familiar
feeling...even though the pain was much higher up then what I’ve experienced
before..I’ve always been a little lactose intolerant and had an extremely
sensitive stomach..and constipation or diarrhea after meals wasn’t something
unusual to me....and that’s how it felt...and that’s what I thought it was and
why I didn’t give it any more thought!
So
I did what I always do....I sat on the toilet for a while but nothing
happened...and the pain didn’t subside..I drank a glass of milk because that
sometimes gets the stomach going..But nothing....I sent Micke to the store to
buy prunes or something that would work as a laxative!
While
he was gone the pain got really bad...by the time he came back I was
crying...but after a while, my bowel started working and the pain
disappeared...no more pain....and everything was back to normal...no pain, no
bleeding…nothing unusual!
On Tuesday
I worked late from 2-10pm. After eating dinner at work, the same thing that had
happened the night before happened...the pain, everything, was totally the
same! Being at work, and having access to laxatives, I took some, went to the bathroom...and
voila, pain gone..And I kept on working until my shift was over!
Wednesday
was my day off and I decided to spend it shopping with my parents. I was sooo
tired and a bit dizzy at times, but other than that, nothing unusual! The
nausea was bad but as soon as we ate lunch it got better...I’m super close to
my parents and usually tell them everything...my mom says, sometimes I even
share too much....and ..I can agree with that :) Sooo I was having a super hard
time keeping this a secret while we spent the day together! But I managed...don’t
ask me how....but I did it!!
Thursday
I worked late again. Before I went to work that day I had felt some pain in my
lower back. But like all the other “symptoms” I chalked it up to being pregnant
and the fact that I had already gained like 5-6 pounds...I’ve had some problems
with my lower back before when I’ve gained weight so I didn’t think it was
anything alarming...my weight has always been like a yoyo...So, I didn’t think
so much more about it! I went to work and had some pain during the night, but
it wasn’t enough pain to keep me from working!
When I got home I still felt the pain in my
lower back, but it wasn’t enough that I felt I needed any pain medication. So I
did what I always do when I get home from work late at night...laid down on the
couch to watch TV with my hubby, trying to wind down and get tired….But when I
got up from the couch to go to bed, the pain had become much worse and I had
trouble walking and standing up. It was painful enough that I decided to call
my work and tell them I wasn’t coming in the next morning… When I’ve had lower
back pain before I’ve always taken some codeine in a small dose, which has
helped...but since I was pregnant I didn’t want to risk it...so I took some
paracetamol and went to bed!
THE WORSE DAY IN MY LIFE!
The
next morning, Friday April 26th micke went to work as usual! Before
he left he did what he always does: gave me a hug & kiss, told me he loved
me and tucked me in! Unlike other mornings , this morning, he also put his hand
on my stomach and said “ be nice to mommy today”...and then he left & I fell back asleep.
I
woke up around 830am. Since I had gone to bed with some back pain I took it
super easy when getting out of bed as I was predicting that it was going to be
painful. But when I sat up I didn’t feel any pain at all from my back...at the
time, I didn’t think any more of it....I got up, went downstairs, had
breakfast, and laid down on the couch to rest and watch TV. I fell asleep and
woke up at 1130...nothing strange I thought....I’m pregnant....
I
remember saying to myself when I woke up “ come on Gita, time to get up and do
something with your day”...we were having dinner with my parents that night,
despite my back pain....but when I got up from the couch, I felt
strange...heavy...hard to describe but heavy is the only word that comes to
mind....and I felt super nauseous.. Not just nauseous but like I had to throw
up! I ran to the kitchen and threw up...it was like a cascade, all over the
sink and the wall behind it...once again, I didn’t think anything of it...(
this was something I didn’t remember until days later)...I cleaned up my mess
and had some water...then all of a sudden a super sharp pain emerged..Once
again, high up on my stomach! And now I was pissed! Stupid, stupid
constipation!! So I picked up the phone and called micke and told him to please
go straight to the pharmacy and get me some laxatives because I wasn’t having
any of this anymore!!! And being the
wonderful husband he is..He left work and went to the pharmacy! While I waited
for him I went upstairs and sat down on the toilet...I sat for a while, but
nothing!! And the pain just kept getting worse and worse..The more I pushed,
the worse it got! Micke came home at 1230 and I was still on the toilet. He
brought me a suppository laxative so it would work fast...and it did! Bowel
movement-check!!
I’m
normally super sensitive to all medicine and have low blood pressure, so Micke
stayed home with me until I was done on the toilet, just in case I passed out!
...well, stranger things have happened right? :)
When
I got up I was extremely nauseous and felt like I was going to faint..I fell
down onto the toilet again....I was sweating one second & then shivering
the next....I figured it was from the laxative...nothing strange...micke helped
me get into the bed to rest for a while...it was now about 120pm. Micke always
gets off work at 2pm on Fridays so he decided to go back to work and finish up
some things...no problem I thought!!
But
after he left and I was lying in the bed, I felt strange...something wasn’t
right...my whole body felt heavy and I was sweating profusely one minute..and
then shivering the next & wanting to throw up....I had the phone next to me
so I decided to call the emergency hotline to get some advice....the RN I spoke
to said she also thought it was from the laxative and quick bowel movement but
since I was pregnant she advised us to go see a doctor, just in case. I told
her we would go as soon as micke got back....around 150 Micke came back...I was
still lying in bed and now I was in severe pain...I checked my pulse in my neck
and it seemed a little fast, but I thought, that’s normal when you have pain…but
it was such a strange feeling....it was like I was outside my own
body....heavy...disoriented...tired...I tried to sit up but when I did I fell
right back down again....I couldn’t sit upright!! And then I started vomiting
and shivering at the same time!
That’s
when I FINALLY realized something was wrong....terribly wrong! I told micke to
call 911 which he did! The strange thing is, that even though I’m an experienced
RN..And know all the symptoms of chock...I was unable to identify it when it
came to my own body! All the signs were there: the sweating, the shivering, the
nausea, vomiting, the pain, the heavy feeling, the high pulse… micke was
standing right next to the bed talking to the 911 operator but it seemed as if
he was so far away...it was like I was listening to him talk from another
room...muffled sounds...I heard him say that I was conscious and talking to
him...the operator told him that the ambulance was about 20 min out and he said
that was ok! Honestly, neither of us realized how serious my condition was…I felt
ok despite all the symptoms…but while waiting for the ambulance, I drifted in
and out of consciousness...during one of the short minutes I was conscious I remember
saying to Micke “ this isn’t going to work much longer”…I felt myself drifting
away…foggy..I remember thinking: “this is it..This is the end..My bodies
shutting down”…I couldn’t lift my arms or legs..It felt like they were made of
lead….20 min passed…just as micke was about to call 911 again to ask where the
ambulance was, they showed up! They took their time parking outside and when
they came upstairs they didn’t even have their bag with them...but as soon as
they saw me, one of them ran out and got the bag! I remember telling them that I
thought it was the laxative..so he suggested we try to go to the bathroom…but
when he lifted my upper body,, I passed out…after that everything happened so
fast…I had no measureable blood pressure…no pulses in my arms…(the pulse in
your neck is the last to be affected)…they lifted me up and started carrying me
down the stairs…I passed out as soon as they lifted me up…
I woke up at the
bottom of the stairs and had no idea how I’d gotten there..Then they wheeled me
out to the ambulance and loaded me in….I yelled to Micke, who was going to
follow behind, to call my parents…I told him I loved him..And then we left. I got
fluids & was hooked up to a monitor that measured my BP, pulse, sats, from
the time I got in the ambulance…I could see that despite the fluids(which should’ve
had a little effect on my BP) my vitals were low…really low…I was scared…and at
the same time, there was this calm…but the pain was almost unbearable!...
The
ambulance drove pretty slow until we got on the highway…and then it just took
off…I’ve never gone that fast before…it felt like we were flying
..As
we were leaving I realized id left the coffee pot on…strange how things like
that pop into your head..So we called micke and he turned around to turn it off…he
didn’t realize that he’d driven so far already..when he turned around we were more
than half way to the hospital…strange how you don’t reflect over these things
until after…why turn around? Someone else that had a key to our house could’ve turned
it off…but when things like this happen
you can’t think straight..And Micke was in a state of shock…
I’ve
always thought I was conscious all the way to the hospital but I’ve been told,
that wasn’t the case…I was mostly unconscious!
Once
we arrived at the hospital the doctors were in disagreement as to which ER we
should go to ( I remember hearing the
ambulance guys on the phone)..The gynecologists wanted us to come to their ER
since I was pregnant..And the internal medicine, surgeons’ and anesthesiologists
wanted us to go to their ER since I was so unstable…they won the discussion and
the gynecologists met us there! When
they unloaded me from ether ambulance we were met by a whole trauma team: Rn’s,
Nurses, Anesthesiologists’, Internal Medicine ,gynecologists. I was in so much
pain still because the ambulance personnel weren’t allowed to give me any pain
medication until we knew what was causing the pain (could subdue symptoms) and because
it was a risk for the baby..In case something else was causing this…at this
point I was still thinking that something else besides my pregnancy was causing
this! My appendix, bowel, infection, ruptured ulcer…but not that there was
something wrong with the pregnancy…
They
lifted me off the stretcher and onto the table in the trauma room. They cut off
my clothes and put 3 more is in my arms…took blood tests and hooked me up to
several machines..I could see that my pressure was still super low..And my
pulse too…the lead gynecology surgeon was standing on my left side holding my
hand. She told me they were going to have to do a vaginal ultrasound and that
it was gonna hurt…another gyno did the ultrasound and it hurt like hell..The
screen of the ultrasound was standing so I could see it ..and it was just a big
black screen…I’ve seen a few ultrasounds and I knew that wasn’t how it was
supposed to look…it was completely black…and the black was blood…I was bleeding
out…
Micke hadn’t made it to the hospital so she
called him…I heard her say “ micke this is doctor..Where are you? I heard micke
say he was stuck in traffic and wouldn’t be there for 30-40 min…I heard her say
“ we can’t wait a minute longer- we need to operate Gita now! I heard him say “of
course”..then she handed me the phone…I remember telling him I loved him and
that it was going to be ok…then they were running…toward the OR…fast…in the
elevator and then we were in the OR and I was on the operating table…2 of the anesthesiologists
introduced themselves..I told them I was in so much pain & finally they
gave me something for it…I started drifting again...everything was hazy…they
asked me if there was anything they needed to know before they started. I told
them I was allergic to penicillin. Then the male anesthesiologist, standing on
my right side, put his hand on mine and said “ Gita were gonna take good care
of you, don’t worry”..And then I fell asleep!
I woke
up in the ICU..Micke was sitting next to my bed. I remember the first thing I asked
him was what time it was. He said it was 9:05!! 9:05 PM!! How was that possible?
We had gotten to the ER at 3pm…where had all that time gone? Had my surgery
taken that long? What had happened during surgery? Did I die? Did they have to resuscitate
me? WHAT THE HELL TOOK SO LONG?
I was
confused and had a lot of questions..I was happy and extremely glad to be awake….that
I had made it at all…but I was scared! The pain took over these thoughts
quickly….
I
looked around and realized the surgery HAD taken that long…and that my body wasn’t
in such good shape..I had several iv fluid bags…5 ivs, 2 arterial lines, blood
bags…I was scared to lift the sheet over me but asked Micke to…I felt so
swollen, like id gained 25pounds…but in width..It felt like I was barely
fitting in the bed. When micke lifted the covers I looked like a package..And
not like a birthday or Christmas present…big bloody bandages on several parts
of my stomach..And a urine catheter…and my shoulders & chest felt like an
elephant were sitting on them (very normal feeling after laparoscopic surgery because
of the gas they fill the cavity with to be able to have a clear field while and
the table being tilted ). After a while the anesthesiologist that had been
there during my surgery came to talk to us! She was wonderful! I had so many
questions…what had they done during surgery? How much did they have to remove? Would
I ever be able to be pregnant again? What took so long?...
She
said that as far as what had been done surgically we’d have to wait for the gynecologist
who performed the surgery to inform us the next morning! What she could tell us
was this: I had been operated on for 5 hours..My abdomen had been filled with
3L of blood..I had had a lot of blood and plasma transfusions during my surgery
and would continue to get those through the night..She wanted me to stay in the
ICU because she was worried about the great blood loss, clotting factors and my
general post-op.state...and she wanted me more stable before she moved me to a
ward..She said my arterial blood gases weren’t what she wanted them to be and
that she’d be checking on me every hour all night, and taking blood gases. I was
soo glad she was being so thorough ..But at the same time it felt soo horrible…and
scary…was I gonna make it through the night?
After
that I couldn’t relax at all...occupational hazard I guess but I was awake all
night! Id fall asleep maybe 10 min at a time, but then I was wide awake again…Micke
stayed until about midnight and then I sent him home. He didn’t want to go but I
needed him to get some sleep…I called my parents and talked to them…my grandma
too, who was visiting…but I didn't have the stamina to say much….I was soo
tired...helpless…scared…
THE DAY AFTER
In the
morning I was moved to the general gynecology/surgery ward. I was expecting
everyone there to be as wonderful s in the ICU, but unfortunately that was not
the case..I was wheeled in a 2 bed room,
right next to a super pregnant girl! This was soo hard after everything that
had just happened..But no one seemed to care or give it a second thought! Well,
a lot of unfortunate things happened
after this, but I’m gonna leave that out…
Micke
came to the hospital early so that he could be with me and be there when the surgeon
came to talk to us. She made her rounds around 11. She told us that she had to
remove what was left of my burst fallopian tube on my left side. Because it had
burst and my abdomen was filled with blood, it had taken them a while to remove
clotted blood and to get me stable before she could locate the ectopic
pregnancy! She said there had also been some complications and she had to attach
a net over my uterus to stop the bleeding. She said the main reason the surgery
had taken such a long time was because they needed to compensate for my blood
loss & have me more stable before they continued with the surgery!...but
the most important thing she said was: YOU CAN STILL GET PREGNANT! And for us,
that was a relief to hear! I had always thought that if you lose one fallopian
tube that your chances of conceiving went from 100% to 50%. But she explained
to us that the chances aware still between 60-70% because the other fallopian
tube can pick up the eggs from the left ovary too!
I stayed
in the hospital for 4 days and then I chose to go home, although the doctors advised
me to stay! The nights at the hospital were horrible…alone..In the dark..with
all ..my thoughts..and pain…and the anxiety was overwhelming…but I wanted to be
home..with Micke, close to my family! So we went home. I passed out once in the
care other then that it went ok…I still don’t remember much from that day…it’s
a little foggy…
I was
home from work for a month…the human body is amazing at healing itself…the
brain, not so much! So when I started feeling better physically…psychologically,
I was a mess! And to this day, it’s still a struggle!
Before
I wrap this up, I want to make a point of telling all of you that when something
like this happens it doesn’t just happen to you- it happens to everyone around
you! My husband spent 5hrs, in a waiting room, alone ( he didn’t want my
parents to come) not knowing if I would survive or what was going on..My parents,
my brother, my grandmother, in-laws, friends etc were very scared and extremely
sad just like Micke & I…everyone involved is affected and that’s something
that shouldn’t be forgotten! Even if it
was my body that this happened too, it’s just as hard, if not harder, for those
who are bystanders…helpless & powerless…
Well
this is absolutely not the end of our story, but I’m sure it’s enough to start
with!
Thank
you for taking the time to read this
Love
Gita
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