onsdag 26 april 2017

If I could erase this day...

I wish I could forget this day...that I could erase it from the calender...and pretend it never happened...is it always gonna feel like this...is it always gonna hurt so much.. am I always gonna be afraid that this could happen again...

But i can't erase it.. trust me, I've tried! For r yrs I've tried...but it's no use...that day will always be a part of me...of who I was then and who I am now...who I've become since then....forever changed...

4 yrs ago I never thought we would get through this..or that life would ever get  back to
"normal"...but somehow it does.. .I'm not sure how...but somehow...and in the coming years I hope that I can write that this feeling has faded...so, until then.. .

onsdag 12 april 2017


Today , its been 4 years since we got our first Plus ...4 yrs & I still remember  it like it was yesterday..how i felt...the happiness...the excitement...the love...
And even though that plus led to the most heart breaking, almost fatal outcome...it's a memory I long to relieve...that I yearn for...to see that plus again...to feel that excited & happy...to see that joy on my husband's face again...

"Grief isn't something you can go around..you have to barrel through it..that's the only way to start to heal "
- unknown

måndag 20 mars 2017

Words hurt...

So the last few years I have received a new " friend "...a " friend" I've never had before but that makes me crazy sometimes..but also worried! Her name is ANXIETY!
At first I had a really hard time putting words to the feelings I was having... why was I all of a sudden scared to do things? To see people? And why did I feel worried about new social situations when I've always been such a social butterfly?  why did I have a hard time adjusting when just small daily plans changed?
My therapist said that it all has to do with control! That the day that I almost lost my life I lost all control... Over my body... Over everything... and that's why my brain now demands another kind of structure and control... And when that disappears, I get anxiety and I have a hard time handling certain situations! And as usual, she is completely right... that's exactly how I feel...
It took me awhile to realize why I have anxiety in certain situations, especially new ones! Because in new situations, with new people, I'm scared! Scared of that question or comment "why don't you have any kids?" Or like someone at a party a while back said " be glad you don't have kids so you don't have to find a sitter"!
Do you guys realize how hurtful these comments are? And why do people think it's okay to say things like this? Especially to someone that you don't even know! I'm pretty sure none of you would walk up to somebody and ask "why are you so fat?" RIGHT? 

I understand that when you have kids and you're in the midst of all this happiness maybe it's natural to talk about kids all the time.. And if the person that you're speaking to brings it up then by all means, go for it! But please think twice... You have no idea what the person in front of you is going through or has gone through... Girl or guy, it doesn't matter!


söndag 12 mars 2017

A work in progress...

Hey everyone
Sorry I haven't posted all the pages yet, telling our while story! I've been home sick & haven't been able to finish writing it. I promise I will do it soon!
Love Gita

torsdag 2 februari 2017


Hey Everyone,
Thanks for visiting my blog! So far Ive only posted MY STORY (to the right). It's quite long so I figured it was enough to start with :) I'll add more information pages soon I promise!
Happy Read!